I’ve started writing a post to sum up hitting 40 and a recap on my progress on all the things I wanted to achieve before I hit 40 about 6 times since the start of January and each time I get about one paragraph in and the inspiration just fizzles out.
I think it’s partly because I didn’t get anywhere near as far through my forty before 40 list as I thought I would and partly because the whole thing just seems a bit anticlimactic; not quite the pivotal life changing moment ’40’ is marketed as. So far all 40 has given me is three grey pubes and an ankle sprain… although the greys could have been there a while for all I know (I’ve not spent much time down there lately).
39 had all the makings of a great year to start with. I’d not long taken on a new developer which was going to free me up day to day to build the business, I’d got events and races and festivals and a marathon and all sorts of fun stuff in the calendar (lots of stuff to help complete the 40 list), the company had won a bunch of new clients and contracts: it was going to be epic personally and professionally!
And then I got threatened by a client, which knocked my confidence for six.
And then my new hire turned out to be a disastrous match for the company.
And then in the chaos of managing them moving on unexpectedly we lost work, and clients, and a fuck ton of money.
And then my daughter decided she didn’t want to see her dad any more so suddenly I was parenting 24/7 instead of having a break a couple of nights a week.
If you’re a parent who doesn’t share custody you’re probably rolling your eyes at the last one, but as a routine-driven autistic mum parenting a routine driven almost-certainly-autistic-still-waiting-for-diagnosis teenager, it was a bit of a shitshow for both of us. I support my daughter’s choice 100% and deep down am grateful that after years and years of pushback and shit and guilt trips for leaving her dad she chose me (so I can’t be as bad a mum as she makes out sometimes) but holy hell there was a long adjustment.
And of course parenting an almost-certainly-autistic teenager 24/7 meant that all those events and races and festivals? Yeah, not gonna happen. The items on my list slowly fell by the wayside. The gym attendance dropped off. The goals took a back seat.
So having expected 39 to be a whirlwind of adventures culminating in a holy orgasmic life changing BANG of a birthday, instead I got a year of work fuck ups, an intense increase in parenting responsibility, an injury that kept me out of running (not the ankle sprain, that’s new) and a resurgence in my drinking to cope with it all (healthy 🫣).
The birthday was alright though; banging party.
Well, not mine, per se. Anyone’s would do. I’ve been ill, on and off, since about August. A cold that started to mend then covid hit that started to mend then a sinus infection that started to mend and then a cold again… you get the gist. At my weakest, most pathetic moment – when… read full entry »
In news that surprises absolutely nobody, I’ve gone another year where I’ve barely blogged. I realised earlier this year that it’s not for lack of things to talk about – christ, this year has had some moments – but rather this feeling that every post must be polished, have an accompanying featured image, have the… read full entry »
If you read my last post, you’ll know that I’ve been thinking about doing the “75HARD” social media challenge for a while, but have been put off by the creator’s sketchy opinions and general persona (that’s basically the gist of the previous post, no need to read it now) I went on to Instagram earlier… read full entry »
I’ve been thinking about doing the 75HARD challenge. If you’re not familiar with 75HARD, it’s a fitness challenge that first did the rounds years ago and has had a bit of a resurgence this year. The rules stipulate that every day, you must: This isn’t a new thing, I’ve considered it several times, and even… read full entry »
I am just over a week out from Newport marathon. It should be the ”finisher”, to round off one of my 40 before forty goals. It’s a compromise on “Run a marathon in every major UK city” (because it turns out many major UK cities don’t have marathons) in which I decided I would run… read full entry »
Alright, simmer down, I know I’m not really a “CEO” because I don’t have a board of directors or a c-suite or anything like that, but “day in the life of an autistic freelance web developer turned LTD company managing director” as a title was just ridiculous. Work with me here guys. I’m writing this… read full entry »
I was umming and ahhing about writing a 2024 review lookback style post. I didn’t want it to end up a rehash of all the shitty bits, which these things inevitably end up being, but at the same time there’s no denying that some of the things that happened in 2024 had Consequences. Fundamentally, the… read full entry »
I recently entered the Shropshire Shufflers’ Severn Bridges 10k in Shrewsbury (after a little bit of a kerfuffle where it wouldn’t accept my affiliated club name) and ran with Gaz to celebrate his birthday. Never expected Gaz to choose a 10k to as a birthday celebration and yet here we are; I like to think… read full entry »
I have to confess that I’ve never been much interested in watching sports. Odd perhaps, for someone who participates and competes in three separate disciplines, but – aside from catching the odd snippet of a big Euros game or highlights of the Olympics shared on social media – watching other people ‘play’ has just never… read full entry »
